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That's Just Rude!
By Nancy Friedman, The Telephone Doctor
April 2005
Paper
or Plastic? Sound familiar?
Do you know what else is familiar? How
many of us have been at a checkout counter where the clerks are talking to each
other and ignoring us, the customer? Rude,
wasn't it? The fact is, rudeness
in our society is reaching epidemic proportions.
We've
all been on the receiving end of rude behavior.
Sometimes, we may even be guilty of it ourselves.
So what exactly constitutes rude behavior?
Is it always intentional? Can
you be rude by not taking action? Can
it be an accident?
Fact:
The offended party is the sole judge of whether something is rude or not.
One
person's rude might be another person's habit.
For example, I might think it's rude to constantly crack your knuckles,
while you may feel great when you're
doing it. To get a clear
understanding of the term rude, let's look at its definition:
a.
Lacking the graces and refinement
of civilized life; uncouth
b.
Lacking education or knowledge.
c.
Ill-mannered; discourteous.
Not
exactly words you'd want to be used when describing you, huh?
To make rudeness easier to identify, understand, and (hopefully) avoid,
we've classified rude behaviors into the form of a matrix.
On the X-axis, we've distinguished between whether the rudeness was
passive or active. In other words,
was it from something you did or from something you didn't do?
On the Y-axis, we've distinguished by whether the action was accidental
or purposeful.
Accidental
Rudeness by Omission is inadvertent
rudeness caused by a lack of action. Examples
include:
- Forgetting
to RSVP to a function or meeting.
- Being
so focused that you ignore others around you.
Accidental
Rudeness by Commission which is
inadvertent rudeness caused by something you did.
Examples include:
- Inappropriate
cell phone use.
- Sneezing
into your hands and then offering to shake hands.
Intentional
Rudeness by Omission is purposeful
rudeness caused by a lack of action. Examples
might include:
- Not
returning voice mails, email, or phone calls.
- Purposefully
leaving a mess with the intention of having others clean it up.
Intentional
Rudeness by Commission is perhaps the
worse offense of them all. This is
rudeness delivered on purpose and caused by an action you took.
This is industrial strength rudeness that is intended to send a message.
- Being
‘nasty' on purpose or using sarcastic humor.
- One-word
answers (this is often thought of as cold and uncaring).
As
you can see, for such a little word, "rude" is a big topic.
Let's strive for a "rude out" -- a day without any rude behavior.
Nancy
Friedman
is president of Telephone Doctor Customer Service Training.
She can be reached at 314-291-1012 or by visiting www.telephonedoctor.com.
If you have examples of rudeness you've
encountered, email her at Press@telephonedoctor.com.
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